The Amazing Super Deadpool #1 - The Purple Scare

It had been an hour since Hammerhead and his men had stormed New York Central bank. The police surrounded the building as SWAT teams were suiting up and preparing to breach. A crowd had gathered around the police perimeter, waiting for the super heroes to come and save the day.

As the SWAT team approached the doors, a silhouette appeared on the rooftop behind them.

“Look! It’s Spider-man!” said one of the kids in the crowd.

“No, I’m actually no-“ Deadpool started to say.

“Why’s he wearing that dorky cape?” asked one of the officers.

“It is not dorky!” Wade yelled defensively. “My cape is awesome, you guys are dorky,” he said under his breath.

Wade jumped from the roof and landed in front of the crowd, he cleared his throat and stood in his hero pose, “Have no fears, citizens, I will save the day. I am Super Deadpool!” he said proudly.

The crowd was completely silent for a moment, everyone looking around kind of confused. “I’ve never heard of him,” one of the people said.

“Me either.”

“Did he say ‘Deadpool’? That doesn’t sound like a super hero name.”

“What’s your super power?”

“I have a super healing factor,” he said, still standing with his hands on his hips.

“And?” asked a kid.

“I have guns,” Wade said.

“Guns aren’t a super power,” the kid retorted.

“But I am REALLY good with them,” Wade said defensively.

“So? I’m really good at video games, does that make it a super power?” the kid asked, causing the crowd to laugh a bit.

“Now listen here you little sonofbi-“ but Wade was cut off again.

“Look! It’s Daredevil!” someone yelled.

The kid looked at Wade, “Don’t worry, a REAL hero is here,” he said mockingly as he walked away.

---

Wade sat on a rooftop overlooking the bank. Hours had passed since Daredevil had beaten Hammerhead, saved the hostages, and even signed a few autographs. “Stupid blind guy,” he muttered.

So is that how it works? You just let anyone make a fool of you now?

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Deadpool said to himself.

Sorry, I don’t side with the losing team.

“Ok I’m down! You can stop kicking anytime you like,” he grumbled.

So you mind telling me how one of the world’s greatest assassins became New York’s lamest hero? I mean come on, I’m in your head and
I can’t even figure it out.

“It’s just hard to adjust, you know. Different set of rules. Can’t just shoot everyone like I used to.” He said with a sigh.

Says who? The X-men? The Avengers? Last time I checked, you’re not one of them. They all turned you down, remember?

“Actually, I turned them down, I didn’t want to join their dumb little teams,” Wade corrected.

You called Fury, and he laughed at you.

“Was it just me, or did he sound like Mace Windu?”

My God you’re a moron. I liked you better as a mercenary.

“Yeah, well I liked you better as little yellow boxes.”

That actually kind of hurt...

---

The old New York Hilton was just one of Zebediah Killgrave’s many recent purchases. It had seen better days, he thought, staring at the slightly faded wallpaper, but it had history. It was in this hotel bar that he first discovered his powers, where he truly became the Purple man. What better place for him to stage his glorious return?

He grabbed a bottle of vodka from behind the bar and addressed his audience. “My friends, thank you all for coming,” he said, his Yugoslavian accent still very thick even after years away from his homeland. “We are gathered here today to discuss the reclamation of my empire.”

Standing in the middle of the room were some of New York’s most prominent gang leaders, each with a pistol barrel in their mouth and their eyes shining with a faint purple light.

Zebediah poured himself a shot and continued on. “Now is the time for me to strike. Hammerhead is weak, and now, with our combined resources I will easily reclaim my city,” he said quickly downing his drink. He slammed the glass on the bar, “However, I don’t require you gentlemen for my plans.”

He turned and walked towards the door, casually looking back over his shoulder he said, “Meeting adjourned, gentlemen. I believe you can show yourselves out.”

He smiled as he heard the gunshots behind him. The Purple man was back.

---

The next day was typical for New York. Street vendors were vending, prices were fluctuating on the stock market, and multiple super villains were wreaking havoc in the middle of the city.

Taskmaster brought his sword down quickly towards Deadpool’s head, but the hero blocked it easily. “Why so quiet, Tasky? I’ve made 4 solid jokes about your mom, and you haven’t said a thing. I’m kind of hurt, I thought we had a better relationship than that,” Wade said, slamming a knee into his enemy’s chest. “And why are your eyes purp-“

BLAM!

Before Wade could finish his sentence, Bullseye’s bullet tore through his shoulder. “OW! You’re paying for my new cape!” Deadpool yelled as he punched Taskmaster in the face, sending him stumbling. “So why the hell are you tw-“ but Wade was cut off again, this time by Rhino’s fist smashing into face.

Deadpool bounced and slid across the pavement into a brick wall. He could feel his bones cracking and twisting as his healing factor kicked in. He took a moment to catch his breath, then yelled “Ok, would someone PLEASE explain what the hell is going on here?!”
The three villains stared at him blankly, there purple eyes never blinking. “You guys all hate each other, so why the hell are you working together? And why the hell are your eyes all glowing?!”

“I believe I can answer your questions,” Zebediah said, stepping out of a dark purple limo, a large group of armed thugs with him.

“So Mr. flying- purple- people- eater, do they not have subtlety where you come from?” Wade asked, skeptically eyeing the man in front of him.

“I am Zebidiah Kilgrave, but you may know me as ‘The Purple man’,” he said in very a smug tone.

“So wait,” Wade said, raising his finger, “that’s the best name you could come up with? The purple man? You’re not big on creativity are ya?”

“This is why I prefer my employees not to speak,” Zebediah said with a loud sigh. “Now then, we have work to do,” he whispered, raising his hand towards Wade.

“Maybe you didn’t hear, but I’m retired. I don’t work for anybody anymore.”

The Purple man stood silent for a moment, looking at Wade in utter shock. “Ho- how did you resist me? No one can resist my powers!” he yelled angrily, slamming his fist into the limo.

“Ha! Nice try, but no one controls what goes on in my head! Not even me!” Wade said defiantly.

Damn right!

Zebediah chuckled quietly. “How cute, the mercenary wants to play hero. It is irrelevant, if you will not join me, then you will die.” He snapped his fingers, “Kill him," he said, calmly taking a sip from his flask.

“Oh S&#%,” Wade muttered as Rhino charged straight for him, Taskmaster and Bullseye following close behind.

Please tell me you have a plan.

“I always have a plan,” Wade said, taking off his belt as Rhino was charging at him full speed.

This is your stupidest plan ever, and for you that’s saying a lot.

Wade pressed a few buttons on his belt and tossed it at Rhino. The teleporter activated just a few feet in front of Wade, causing Rhino to
disappear. Before Bullseye could react, Rhino reappeared in front of him, still charging, and both villains crashed through the stone wall of a nearby building.

Ok fine, not bad.

“I know, right?! And I was just wingin- OW!” he yelled as Taskmaster’s shield flew right into his face. “I knew I was forgetting someone,” Wade muttered, drawing his sword and dashing towards the last threat.

Taskmaster remained defensive, parrying every one of Deadpool’s slashes. The hero quickly ducked under one of his enemy’s swings and sweep kicked his legs out from under him. “Sorry about the headache, buddy,” Deadpool said, slamming his elbow hard into Taskmaster’s face.

Deadpool stood and brushed himself off casually, “Now what was this business about killing me?” he asked. “Because it doesn’t usually go how people think it will.”

Zebediah’s men leveled their guns at Wade, waiting for the command to fire.

“Oooooh, big scary guns,” Wade said mockingly, raising his hands in surrender. “Is this the part where they open fire, I kick all of your butts and I’m home in time for Gilmore Girls?”

The Purple man chuckled a bit, “It would appear I have underestimated you, Mr. Wilson. Perhaps a bit of a reunion is in order.” Zebediah snapped his fingers, “I believe you and Daredevil know each other, yes?” he asked with an evil grin.

The man without fear back flipped from one of the nearby rooftops and landed effortlessly onto the ground, his sightless, purple eyes locked on Deadpool.

“Well, looks like it’s time for that butt kickin’ I owe you,” Wade said, cracking his knuckles in preparation.

Zebediah gave a quick nod and Daredevil leapt to action.

Deadpool quickly ducked under Daredevil’s roundhouse kick and delivered a swift punch to the blind man’s gut. Wade tried to capitalize on the opening, but Daredevil recovered too quickly and smashed his palm into Deadpool’s nose.

Wade stumbled back, blood filled his vision and he was disoriented. Before he could react, Daredevil swept his legs with his cane and knocked him flat on his back, dropping a knee onto our hero’s sternum, fracturing it.

Deadpool felt his lungs puncture as New York’s handicapable hero proceeded to kick and shatter his ribs.

Now would be a great time for you to do something!

Wade tried to speak, but he only coughed up blood.

Zebediah grinned as he continued to pull his puppet’s strings. “Very good, now end it,” he said, motioning towards one of Deadpool’s swords that was lying on the ground.

As Daredevil turned to grab the sword, Wade quickly drew both pistols and sprung to his feet. “Gotta love that healing factor, right?” he asked, slamming the handle of his gun into Daredevil’s face. “Hate to do this, Red, but desperate times mean desperate measures,” he said, placing both guns directly over Daredevil’s shoulders and firing.

The gunshots echoed throughout the streets and Daredevil collapsed in agony, his eardrums ruptured.

“Ok, so now I’m mad,” Wade said, unloading the rest of his bullets into the limo’s engine block. “Now let’s find out if you bleed purple, too,” he said as he calmly reloaded.

Zebediah looked around nervously. “What are you waiting for?! Kill him! Shoot him!” he yelled frantically to his guards. They opened fire and Deadpool simply stood still. Bullets tore through his body, but he remained standing.

As the guards began to reload, he smiled. “My turn,” he whispered.

---

Wade and Daredevil sat on the edge of a nearby fire escape as the police rounded up the criminals. Bullseye was hauled away in an ambulance, Rhino had to be taken by forklift, and Taskmaster was nowhere to be found. Zebediah, whose mouth had been taped shut, and his goons were the last to be carted away.

“So I think I may have underestimated you, Wilson,” Daredevil said very loudly, his ears still throbbing. “Despite the fact that I’m almost doubly handicapped now, you did pretty decent work there.”

“Are you trying to bromance me? Because I hate to break it to you, but me and Spidey already have one of those going on,” Wade said.

Daredevil sighed and placed his hand over his face, “Never can take anything serious, can you, Wade?”

“Honestly, if you’re still expecting me to then you’re crazier than me.”

Daredevil shook his head, “God forgive me for encouraging this, but good job, Dea-“ Wade loudly cleared his throat, “Seriously? Fine. Good job, SUPER Deadpool.”

This is slander! I sound nothing like that!

I know nothing about Deadpool other than he's a wise-cracking mutant who can't be killed. However, this was a fun read despite my lack of knowledge.